I've spent the entire summer in denial. Denial over the fact that my baby boy is really no longer a baby. I still call him my baby boy and he (with much confidence) reminds me that he is not a baby. Still, as the mom of Caleb, my firstborn, I can't quite get my mind wrapped around the fact that 3+ years have flown by and I'm already sending him off to preschool in less than a week. It could just be pregnancy hormones, but I have cried quite a lot over this huge milestone. He's ready. SO ready. Socializing, learning, and every other aspect of preschool is 100% what he needs. Yet, for me, I'm just not quite ready.
There's the mom in me that just isn't ready to let go and realize that my kids are only this little for so long. I wonder if I've prepared him enough. Will he hold onto the values we've tried to instill? Will he still remain as sweet and innocent as he is now? There's also the teacher in me that thinks, what are the teachers going to think of him (and us, the ones who've raised him for 3+ years). Will he be a difficult kid to teach or will he go with the flow? Will he be a leader in the classroom or a follower? No matter what, I've convinced myself (and prayed a ton) to let go of all the questions, fears, sadness, and so on. At some point, we have to let go and trust that everything will be just fine. We'll take each day one day at a time and try to cherish the good with the bad.
So, I finally came to terms with the fact that this is really happening. We've filled out all the registration forms, bought the supplies, and even finished coloring the bug he was sent that will hang up in his classroom. I must admit, there was quite a bit of debate going on in my head over this bug. Should I tell him what colors to use? Should I make sure he doesn't scribble all over? If I leave it up to him, will all the other moms do the opposite and make my kid's picture stick out like a sore thumb? Needless to say, I let him take charge (the teacher in me can't stand when a project was 98% done by the parents and 2% by the kid). To my surprise, it looks awesome....and he even wrote his own name (although he still gets quite frustrated that his "B" never looks right)!
And just for fun, I decided to interview my little preschooler. It'll be fun to look back at this and see how much he changes with time:
What is your name? Caleb
How old are you? 3
What do you want to be when you grow up? a big boy
What is your favorite food? peanut butter and jelly
What is your favorite drink? milk and water
What makes you happy? my dump drunk and my firetruck
What makes you sad? when I can't play
What is your favorite thing to do at home? play
Who is your best friend? Iain and Ruby (neighbors)
Where is your favorite place to go? Grandma's
What is your favorite thing to do with Mommy? snuggle
What is your favorite the to do with Daddy? wrestle
What is the best part about Leah (sister)? playing with her, hugging her, and loving her
What is your favorite book? Frosty the Snowman, when I'm at Grandma's
What is your favorite movie? Mater
Where is your favorite place to eat? at Grandma's
What is your favorite thing to wear? my Mario shirt and my snake shirt