I Don't Want to Forget

They say sometimes the best way to preserve a memory is to write it down. Somehow, over the past 12 years, I've carried quite an important memory with me and have failed to ever write it down. Since it's one that I don't ever want to forget, there's no better time than now to share it.

On this exact day, 12 years ago, I sat on the floor of my room at the Alpha Phi house with my roommate and discussed one of the most important decisions I've ever had to make in my life. That discussion, though, was preceded by months of life changing events. And this is how the story goes....

It was the beginning of my junior year and we were still at the point in August when classes are just barely starting to get tough. There's tons of free time, the weather is still gorgeous, and weeknights turned into weekends with no real sense of time. On one particular Saturday, a group of sorority sisters were heading down the street to a nearby frat to hang out and play drinking games. When my friend down the hall suggested I come with, I happily tagged along. We had a blast hanging out with the awesome guys at the SigEp house and much of the night was a complete blur. One of the few moments I do remember from the night was when I was coming back up the stairs from the bathroom on the main level. A guy was walking past carrying a book (which I am pretty sure happened to be a Bible). He casually struck up a conversation and after finding out that I was an Alpha Phi, he mentioned that our two houses were doing a Bible study together that semester. We chatted for a little bit longer and then parted ways, but I somehow managed to remember the details of the conversation the next day.

(a pic of my friend and I on that night in August)

When talking to my roommate about the night and mentioning the "cute guy" I met in the stairwell, she informed me that she was co-leading that study. At that point, I'd never opened a Bible in my life and really didn't have much interest in doing so....but what I did have an interest in was the very attractive SigEp I met the night before! I told Melissa (my roommate) that I'd like to go, which was really just an attempt at somehow reconnecting with the guy! And so, I went. Every single week I went. And every single week, that guy never showed. But several times, while sitting there at Bible study in the main room of the SigEp house, I saw that cute guy heading straight out the door with other guys to go play basketball. Oh, the nerve!

Though I never really had the chance to reconnect with the person that I was hoping to meet up with by going to the study, I did have the chance to become completely enthralled by someone else. Yes, as cheesy as it sounds, I came to meet a guy, but the only guy who met me there was Jesus. In all seriousness, I became fascinated by the story of Jesus and everything about the Bible was so exciting. I had debates, questions, deep conversations, with these Christians who a few months before were just friends I barely knew. In just a few months time, Jesus had transformed my heart and I deeply desired to know more about Christianity. I was going to church for the first time in my life and reading the Bible just to find out more. I found myself wanting to spend more time with the people I'd met in the study because they all seemed so much more genuine than most people I'd met at college.

Fast forward a few months, and it came time for an exchange between the SigEp and Alpha Phi houses - exchanges are just a fancy way of saying that a bunch of guys and a bunch of girls get together to drink have fun. This particular exchange was at a local Japanese restaurant. We all had to get dressed up and spent the night mingling and doing Sake bombs. I made a strong attempt, with the help of a few sorority sisters, to find the mystery guy that I'd had my eye on for months. We connected and managed to spend a good part of the night hanging out, laughing, and getting to know each other better. 

(the night of the exchange, with my roommate Melissa and some other friends)

Fast forward a few days, and it was time to figure out who I was going to take to our annual semi-formal. I, of course, wanted to ask my favorite SigEp. I worked up the courage to message him on AOL Instant Messenger (yes, this was before the days of texting) and he, thankfully, said yes! We had a blast at semi-formal and I just couldn't stop thinking about what an amazing guy he was.

(our first date - Alpha Phi semiformal)

The next day, my roommate and I were hanging out in our room. Being the weirdos that we were, we'd often sit at our computers and have full blown conversations via AIM. This particular conversation was about semi-formal and how much fun we'd had. At one point, I managed to type, "I hope he falls in love with me someday." I clicked send (or whatever the button was) and about one second later realized that I had typed that part of the conversation into the wrong chat box. Instead of typing that to Melissa, I had typed it to the cute guy that I was also chatting with at the same time! At that moment, I knew I had blown it big time - no guy wants to get that serious after just one date! After a few agonizing minutes, he responded with "can we talk?"

Not long after that most embarrassing moment, I found myself sitting on the couch in the living room of the Alpha Phi house with the guy of my dreams - knowing in the back of my mind that I had completely screwed up! His response, however, was quite unexpected. He said some of the most flattering things a guy has ever said about me. He told me he'd also had an amazing time together. Then he said, "but....". There it was. I knew it was coming. But it wasn't the "but" I was expecting. He said, "But, you're not a Christian and I'm really only okay with dating people who share my faith."

Our conversation wrapped up and I immediately ran up to my room. I asked Melissa what he meant by that. After all, I'd been going to Bible study and had even been to church a few times. She clarified what he meant by saying that a Christian is not just someone who "does" all those religious things, but someone who fully accepts Christ as their Lord and Savior. Up until that point, I hadn't made a concrete decision to follow Jesus. So, she sat with me, and we prayed the salvation prayer. And from that moment on, I knew my life had been changed forever. I finally understood the difference between religion and faith. Religion is what I grew up with....doing things that outwardly express what you believe. Faith, however, is an internal thing. It's knowing and accepting fully that prior to December 8, 2002 I was living a life that was not fully committed to God. But, from that moment on, I wouldn't live my life for myself anymore. I would live with Christ as my example of how to live here on Earth and with Christ as my assurance that I will spend an eternity in Heaven. 

After another month or so of spending time together, the cute boy and I started to realize that there was something more than just a friendship forming. And the rest is history....

....oh, and he did fall in love with me after all!